Jan 9, 2010

Status: ga ngerti

Date: January 9th 2010
Time: (menurut waktu laptopku, si oMac) gue mule ngetik pada pukul 0437WIB.

eh ini sudah pagi loh. sebentar lagi si burung akan bercuit-cuit, kakak dan papa akan bangun untuk kerja, dan mama akan bangun untuk bikinin sarapan plus milo buat mereka (u're so dedicated, Mom, love ya *kisses*). but WHY AM I STILL AWAKE?? argggghhh..!! ini yg nama ny insomniaaaa, ato emang lagi kepikiran sesuatu aja sihh??

hah?
kepikiran apa? hehe sini gue curcooll.. *padahal emang pgn ngoceh*

bantulah gue menjawab pertanyaan yang sering dtanyakan oleh orang-orang ini: apakah gunanya sebuah status? dalam artian, status "gue pacar lo" atau "gue temen lo". oke lah, karena sekarang lagi jaman, status "gue HTS-an elo" juga boleh kita konsiderasikan.


seperti gambar disamping, gandengan *aaawwwww*... simple thing, tapi kalo lo gandeng temen cowo lo, pasti lu di-prikitiw ama temen2 lo. laen critanya kalo lo gandeng pacar lo. hmmm, semacem "uda dari sono ny normal".

jadi yg membuat normal itu adalah status?

jadi status cuma semacam "ijin" untuk mendapat privileges dari masing2 pihak? dan "ijin" untuk memberikan lo the so-called rules and regulations of a relationship. gitu?

hm. oke, gue bisa terima itu.. (for now)

tapi, gmana kalo status tuh malah membuat elo jadi terbeban? (pernah ngerasain ga sih?) iya sayang, iya dia bukan cuma temen, iya dia ga kurang dari pacar. tapi gue ga bisa terima "aturan" yang tercipta dari status dan hubungan ini. (macam hubungan apaan aja.....) OH COME ON! kalo nanti merit, aturan akan lebih gila! komitmen akan lebih kuat! knapa harus dibikin aturan dari jaman pacaran ampe merit dan slanjutnya? knapa ga dipendekin aja aturannya tuh mulai dari merit? "latihan"? i don't get it.

with my experience up until now, gue bisa bilang, sebuah status dapat saja hanya suatu hal untuk membuat kita secure dan merasa memiliki (ato emang gtu ya?). kalo merit laen cerita ya, itu sesuatu yg jauh lebih indah (n maybe more scary) dibanding pacaran. kata temen gue, "pacaran adalah tahap pengenalan sebelum merit". lah, terus sebelom pacaran pas temenan, itu bukan tahap pengenalan? forgive me for my ignorance, but again, seriously, i don't get it.

kalau pacaran, akan ada aturan yg dibuat, dan perasaan sakit hati saat peraturan itu dilanggar. dan kenapa peraturan itu dilanggar? karena yg dikasih aturan ngerasa ngga cocok. terus berantem deh.. brantem gunanya apa? untuk saling mengerti? supaya bisa terbuka? supaya saling berkembang? gue setuju aturan yg membimbing, tapi sayangnya ada yang membuat aturan untuk membuat pasangannya nurut.

emangnya kalau ga pacaran dan hanya berstatus "teman", ga bisa saling mengerti? ga bisa terbuka? ga bisa jujur? kalau ga pacaran, saat ada sesuatu yg kita expect dari seseorang tp ga dilakukan, ya gapapa donk??? biarin aja dia mau ngapain, dia akan lebih menjadi dirinya sendiri saat ga dikasih aturan kan? kalo emang badung, ya badung.. bae, ya tau diri.. (and damn it's hard to find someone that's good from the root!) because nowadays, people are using this status to mold their beloved ones to be just like what they want. gue jadi bingung.

okaaayy, questioning session! bukan. bukan elo yg nanya. dari gue pertanyaannya, kalian yg jawab. bantu gue mengerti lika liku kehidupan.

apakah ada yang tau kenapa diciptakan status "pacaran"?
padahal, saat kita melihat orang yg kita sayang sebagai teman yg bisa dijadiin lebih, bukannya lebih enak karena kita jadi ga ada beban?
apakah HTS hanya bagi orang-orang yg mau enaknya aja dan gamau bagian pahitnya?
aturan tuh dibuat untuk membimbing dia atau men'jinak'an dia?

jadi bagaimana?
pheeww.. capek yah, pegel.

"Goodmorning, new day. I'm ready for more surprise!



7 comments:

  1. Perspective, Owie sayang, is a very funny thing. For example, marriage which even for you is more understandable than love relationship is looked from different point of view from some other people.

    Some people decided that domestic partnership is better and less hassle than marriage. Maybe, just like you have thought about love relationship, these people thought the same thing that a status is not that important.

    Mungkin saat lo berpikir, kalo nggak pacaran maka nggak bisa putus, then those who decided not to get married thought, kalo nggak nikah nggak bisa cerai. I don't get it too, karena sekali lagi itu hanya masalah perspektif.

    untuk menjawab pertanyaan lo, Wi.
    1. Analogikan pacaran dengan lo ngetag barang yang mau lo beli. Tujuan lo pasti untuk beli itu barang, dan lo ngetag duluan supaya nggak keburu di beli orang lain. You tagged them to remark your possession. Again, for security reason.

    2. Jelas sebagai teman lo nggak ada beban. With greater power came great power comes great responsibility (Spiderman, 2002). Karena sebagai teman dia juga ga punya hak untuk meng-kepo-in lo.

    3. HTS. Hmm, while some people thought that status makes the relationship more complicated, for me, no status does. Of course it wouldn't be fair if we simplified this like what you said, "mau enaknya aja nggak mau paitnya...". Because some people from the disadvantaged position thought, "gwe cuman paitnya aja nggak pernah dapet enaknya...". You might need one long blog entry to talk about an open relationship.

    4. Aturan dibuat untuk menjinakkan? Well, I have never thought you would be so over simplifying when it comes to your own self defense, Wi. Rules are made so the game could be played. No rules no game. And imagine how many people could be hurt if there's no rule at all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. masuk akal, masuk akal.. hmmmmm... *mikir*

    ReplyDelete
  3. by Sandy Saputra:

    Relationship without commitment is priceless.

    Yes, I really mean priceless as price-less.

    Commitment : An all round ticket to explore someone's world.... See More

    And without experiencing someone's world, you won't be able to love him.

    And yes, this theory is my perspective. And trying to mix some different perspectives is a waste of time.

    So, have yours to play your mind. This topic has no answer, anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  4. by Maxie Nata:

    apa gunanya status pacaran mungkin lbh kepada mengikat..
    sama aja ky merit,,diperlukan komitmen..
    1 untuk selamanya..

    kecuali loe gpp kalo berbagi pacar sama orang lain..... See More
    apa jangan2 loe belum pernah merasakan cemburu,wie?
    atau mungkin sbenernya loe ga pernah jatuh cinta...
    hehehe...
    gmn,wie?

    btw,penjelasan dr temen loe -mel- itu,ok jg lho! hehehe..
    no rules,no game!

    ReplyDelete
  5. waduh... dipuji... makasih banyak loh.

    Wi... deep down gwe merasa entry lo yang ini hanyalah pembelaan diri saja. Kadang kala seorang anak kecil yang sangat kepengen eskrim tapi nggak boleh sama mamanya, suka bilang dengan keras dan galak, "Ya udah nggak makan eskrim juga nggak papa... aku juga ga suka eskrim yang itu..."

    ReplyDelete
  6. wahwah, pouring out, eh? anyway, been blogwalking and found thine interesting blog. ahh, permit me to annoy your blog! :P

    just wanna say that to life's simple. people try to complicate thing to make life worth living. in this case, status and rules in dating and all that. it's so 21st century. marriage's something we could find even in Genesis. but dating? it's a current issue. we don't really NEED it, actually, in order to get married.

    for me, the problems are lack of trust. why relationships become burden? no trust. ain't real relationships. real relationships're not built upon rules and status. i mean, even if when they HAVE to be gone, no rules, no status, the whole relationships stays the same. but if once there's no status and no rules everything changed, there has never been true relationships at all. all is fake. :)

    the conclusion, what matter's more is what's inside. motivation. your love. and all that. are they real? if they're real, there'd be no burden. no fear. yes, there'd be problems, but if both sides have love, everything's going to be fine as both are on the same side against one problem, instead of against each other.

    wish you all the sweetest of this world. :D takecare!

    ReplyDelete